I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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