3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
