She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
