i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
