Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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