it wasn't lemon gatorade
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
