RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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