so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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