first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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