Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think people are normalizing furries
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
