Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
