Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
