Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
