also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
