is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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