you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
love makes seman taste better
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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