Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
