I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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