and i looked up. we had an audience...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
