he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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