I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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