Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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