My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
