I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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