Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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