You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
