the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize