I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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