You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment