Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool

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(720): View more from Colorado

have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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(703): View more from Virginia

She's allergic to latex.

(678): View more from Georgia

Lucky bastard.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.

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(541): View more from Oregon

How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..

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(810): View more from Michigan

The power of my boobs compel you

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