I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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