ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.