What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
