paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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