There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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