I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
