had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
