ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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