I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
