i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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