I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
