halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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