She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
