I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
