Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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