Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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