sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
