it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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