Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Randomize
