WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
