Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
