im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
