its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
