I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
