Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize