The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
