Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
