Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I see more hoeing in ur future
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