Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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