worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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