do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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